The Sadie Hawkins case: should girls ask guys out?

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Mary Fisher

Spending time with friends, fun group activities, meeting new people, pictures, slow dancing with a crush, and life long memories are some of the plus sides when going to school dances. However, the weeks previous to all the fun are full of both stress and nervousness, but mostly stress.

Dances are especially stressful for the person who is asking. Anyone who has taken someone to a school dance knows how nerve racking it is to actually ask. They have to think of a creative and cute way to ask, find the right time, and then keep their fingers crossed that the other person will say yes.

They also have to worry about what group they’re in (if they are in one), what activities to do, how they are going to pay, transportation, what they’re going to wear to the dance, making sure their date is having fun, and so much more.

As everyone knows, the Sadies Hawkins dance is coming up. It is one of the dances that most people look forward to because it is the only non formal dance, and it’s girls choice. Girls do the asking, planning, and worst of all the paying.

A girl’s choice dance versus a boy’s choice dance; who has it easier?

“I think that if you’re a girl then it depends on how new you are to the idea of a girls ask dance.” said Sadie, real name withheld, a junior here at school.

“For me it was kind of awkward. In all the movies that I watched about high school dances it’s always the guy asking. When my friend first told me about the girls choice dance I thought she was lying. So, I think it’s harder for girls because it just seems more normal for the guy to do the asking to dances.”

Even though this may be true, some people disagree.

“I think guys have it way harder than girls do.” said Ethan, real name withheld, senior here at school.

“I feel like guys get rejected more often than girls know. So when a guy asks he’s more nervous because he has to make sure that everything is going perfect or the chances of rejection are higher for him. I feel like most guys don’t ask because of that fear of rejection, so I think that that’s why guys have it harder than girls.”

There are some disagreements about girl’s choice dances. Some people don’t really like the whole idea and concept of girls asking.

“Honestly I always thought that it was a little weird that we have girl’s choice dances.” said Will, a graduate from school.

“I feel like there should only be guys ask dances. I’ve been asked to these dances and I always feel bad because all my dates felt like they had to pay for everything. I think that girl’s get stressed easier than guys do when it comes to these kinds of things so it kind of makes the day a little tense.”

The Cut did an interview with some teenagers to see how they felt about high school askings. One of these teens, Isidro, said that “a girl asking a guy to prom would feel kind of weird in a demasculinizing sense.”

He goes on to say that he thinks it’s cool that girls ask, but that he’d rather stick to the book and have just guys ask.

“It’s like our unwritten duty.” said Isidro.

Although some people have their disagreements, a lot of people love the idea of a girl’s ask dance.

“I think it’s great that we have a dance that girl’s get to ask!” said senior Kira Leota.

“I really like it because it helps me to get more comfortable when talking to guys, and it helps me see how people are outside of school. I also really like it because it’s helped me know how to plan stuff and be able to stick to that plan. It’s also really fun when you’re with the right people.”

Just like Kira, other girls have no problem asking a guy to a dance. One in particular is a high school senior named Gabriella Garza who lives in Florida and was interviewed by Buzzfeed. She asked her boyfriend to prom and received a lot of criticism and attitude from other people. She was told over and over again that guys are supposed to do the asking not girls. However, she stayed confident in her decision and doesn’t regret asking.

“I…hate social standards that say women can’t ask men to prom or on dates. So I decided to ask him. At the end of the day I already did it and I would do it again.” said Garza.

Some advice to anyone that knows that they are going to be asking someone to a dance is to ask at least two weeks in advance. There are a lot of things wrong with last minute askings. The person being asked will have to find or buy something to wear and there is a bigger chance of getting rejected.

Depending on gender and who is asking who, people can recieve disapproval from a lot of others. Asking isn’t as easy as it may seem. Just remember to have no regrets and stay confident in any decisions made.