Best way to win love; advice from teachers


From Nicole Lavely

Taylorsville High art teacher Nicole Lavely with her husband.

High school is the time for students to experience relationships and often, the students believe they’ll be with someone forever. Now the question is how do we win love? 

Psychologist Gleb Tsipursky from Psychology Today has twelve tips for happy relationships. However, there are only three that stuck out. They are: be honest, understand that they have different feelings/thoughts than you, and understand the emotion behind their words.

History teacher Sherri Horton said the key to winning someone over is to be honest. “If you are not yourself you may win them over but it’s never going to last so I think just be honest, be who you are and then, if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be anyway.” It’s always good to be who you are. Nobody wants someone who isn’t being themselves.

From Sherri Horton
History teacher Sherri Horton with her husband in front of an LDS temple.

That being said, if you are a timid person, you may think that the other person should take the first move. If you wait for that, you won’t get a relationship. There’s a chance you will but it’s very slim. Plus, people love confidence.

Also, don’t be afraid to try some new things. Chemistry teacher Mr. Burnett said he won over his wife by “associating myself with things that she likes.” While Burnett won her over with food, there may be something else that they like and you don’t. It would be a good idea to at least try the activity once. If you do that, it’ll show your partner that you care about their hobbies. 

From Thomas Burnett
Chemistry teacher Thomas Burnett with his wife Mrs. Rachel Burnett.

There’s also romantic gestures but sometimes big romantic gestures may not be the best way to go. Horton said that big romantic gestures are a fun way to keep the “romance alive” but the little details are more important. Some people like big gestures, others don’t. 

Art teacher Nicole Lavely said, “It depends on who your partner is. I think what’s important is that you get to know who they are and knowing their love language is really important. […] People give love in specific ways and need love in certain ways.”

Art teacher Nicole Lavely with her husband Colin holding their marriage licence.

People need to take into consideration the five love languages. They are acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and touch. “I think it’s really important to know what your love language is and what your partner’s language is so you can fill in the blanks where they are,” Lavely continued, meaning that if you know their love language, you can make improvements in your relationship. If you want to know what your love language is, you can take the quiz here (ages 13-17): 5 Love Languages: Teens

Being honest, understanding the five love languages, and doing things your partner loves all shows that you care and that you’re willing to put in the hard work. “I think that all relationships are hard work, no matter who you are or how happy and in love you are. If that person is worth the work then you can make it last longer,” Lavely says.  

Relationships take work and as long as both of you are willing to put in the work, you will have a successful relationship.